Do you live in the living room or in the waiting room? Every house has a waiting room. Maybe the entire house is one - the room where we hide and wait for life to begin. It’s the room where there’s nothing happening except TV, the media, or the hand-held devices that offer us passive but constant contact and broken connections.

Happy lives in the living room. Recently I met HAPPY and it was a shock! It’s not often that we meet someone who is genuinely happy. I had to ask, “how is it you’re so happy?” The response was, “I was born happy.” I thought about that for a moment, and responded, “I wasn’t born that way but I’ve arrived at happy and it’s nice to meet you.”

Happy always seemed so elusive - light as a firefly...nearly impossible to catch - and if you did you better put it in a Ball jar with a lid on it and don’t forget to punch a few holes in the cap. HAPPY made another remark that impressed me which was, “We can’t be unhappy about the things we don’t have.” Give that some thought.

My ears are attuned to happy. I want to hear everything that’s said, been said, and wants to be said about the subject. It seems elusive, but is it? It can seem to be a state of mind that we have little choice over. We worry and wait for a happy day. We wonder if we’ll ever be happy and hope we’ll recognize it, if and when it does show up.

Happy is our internal barometer that has nothing to do with what’s going on out there. It’s our own Ball jar filled with our lightness, joy, and vibrancy that lights our way, that makes us like fireflies. It’s a light from within that naturally breathes and shares itself.

How does HAPPY handle the lemons when they’re dealt? Should we experience a major loss, my friend suggests, “Make small gestures, take a step and then another, move the body gently, do what seems appropriate, don’t force the situation, live the moments in small and meaningful ways.”

Are we waiting for the right moment or circumstances to be happy? We can prepare forever, wait for the magic event, the right relationship to show up, the response from the client, or boss. These things will make us happy for a few minutes until we need the next happy fix. When we detach from the expectations of how happy is ‘suppose’ to happen, we become available for things to actually occur. We can even come to expect miracles.

I’ve noticed we can be suspicious of happy people. What’s wrong with that “goofy” guy or “daffy” gal? He must be on drugs. She’s a delusional Pollyanna. What kind of commentary is that? What does it say about a population that is wary of someone happy? Curious. Perhaps, it’s the belief that if I can’t have it, she the one who’s ill.

Mary Carroll, my not so secret muse, had this to share. A quote by author William Ralph Binge, “The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.” Mary photographed this blissful moment in Simon’s Marketplace of jewelry designer, Dina Varano and Michael Joplin’s two charming daughters, Sienna and Scarlett. Scarlett has a bandaged finger - doors slam on little fingers and it hurts - but check out these clear vibrant eyes…they so speak happy.

Writing a gratitude list reminds us of what we have in our lives; the opportunities, relationships, families, creative adventures. I write these lists from time to time as a reminder. As I wear happy more and more often, I’m reminded that happy is neither granted, given, earned, or rewarded for good behavior, or actions taken. The only way to know happy is by deciding to live happy right now. It’s a choice, not a mystery guest.

Happy is natural. It is our nature.

Being by the water is where I want to live. Floating in the lake nourishes the wellness within. This little sailboat will carry us out with the gentle breezes. The heart is open, a swim awaits, there’s a dance wanting to be danced. The fireflies have mated and happy waits patiently to be lived naturally, fully and embedded in the Being of who we are.

Editor’s Note: Jill Butler is offering Creating Your Vision Workshop in her Chester studio, Tuesday evening, July 20, 6 -9 p.m. For further information, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., or call 860-526-5155. The fee is $45.